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Mar. 11th, 2006 10:54 pmMy life is very calm right now. Generally I'm satisfied with the state of things. While there are a few things I'd change if I could I know that I'm a lucky gal and that my life right now is pretty good. I have people who love me, we're fairly financially stable (for us), and things are basically going well. I'm not unhappy. My problem seems to be that I have too much emotional energy. Lately I've been getting panicky a bit more often than I used to. Or maybe I used to do it more often and then stopped for a long time. It's a familiar feeling but one from the past. The other night I woke up terrified about the kid's health. Isadora had been sick that night but it wasn't anything major and I knew it wasn't rational but I couldn't calm myself down. The same thing happened a couple of weeks ago when I had a dream J died.
Today the kids woke us up badly, my mom found out she isn't getting paid when she's supposed to so it puts our Florida trip into limbo, and our ac is broken. Nothing too terribly dramatic but I let it put me in a furious bad mood. Luckily I realized it and instead of just leaping into the raving bitchies worked hard to control it until it passed.
I think I just have too little going on in my life right now to pour my excess of emotional energy into and I'm not very busy so my inner drama queen gets all in a huff and throws an opera. It's quite annoying. Be nice if I could come up with some more positive sort of busy work to give it. Maybe I should learn to play the autoharp. *snort*
I finished the first season of The Wire (oh Omar) and then watched Murderball. Murderball wasn't quite as good as I think it could have been though I'm not sure I can put my finger on why. I watch too damn many documentaries. I also watched TWO Merchant Ivory films this week. That's practically Merchant Ivory overload. I may be found wandering through a field in a corseted dress tomorrow muttering to myself tomorrow with a confused and naive but well bred look about me.
Oh and I made cookies for dinner today, chocolate chip... two kinds, milk and semisweet with pecans. Gumbo for lunch.
Today the kids woke us up badly, my mom found out she isn't getting paid when she's supposed to so it puts our Florida trip into limbo, and our ac is broken. Nothing too terribly dramatic but I let it put me in a furious bad mood. Luckily I realized it and instead of just leaping into the raving bitchies worked hard to control it until it passed.
I think I just have too little going on in my life right now to pour my excess of emotional energy into and I'm not very busy so my inner drama queen gets all in a huff and throws an opera. It's quite annoying. Be nice if I could come up with some more positive sort of busy work to give it. Maybe I should learn to play the autoharp. *snort*
I finished the first season of The Wire (oh Omar) and then watched Murderball. Murderball wasn't quite as good as I think it could have been though I'm not sure I can put my finger on why. I watch too damn many documentaries. I also watched TWO Merchant Ivory films this week. That's practically Merchant Ivory overload. I may be found wandering through a field in a corseted dress tomorrow muttering to myself tomorrow with a confused and naive but well bred look about me.
Oh and I made cookies for dinner today, chocolate chip... two kinds, milk and semisweet with pecans. Gumbo for lunch.
