danuv | (no subject)

I was just reading some childbirthing stuff and started thinking back to my two births. Rhiannon was much closer to how I wanted things to be. No drugs, no meddling, very very few check ups from the nurses. They just left me alone in the tub to labor. With Isadora however, I got there too soon, there were fewer people giving birth so they had more time to annoy me, my last hour or so was not going as well and then I made the mistake of putting on Kate Bush and Running Up the Hill so I was crying hysterically. Then when my water broke there was meconium staining and they immediately took Isadora away, I didn't even touch her, rammed tubes down her nose into her lungs and sucked them out. Horrible. It seemed like forever before I got to hold her and what a horribly violent way to come into the earth. I feel so guilty over it. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'll give birth alone in the woods with a dull knife before I go back into a hospital. Hospitals are for sick people and women in labor are not sick! I hate the fear that women have been taught. Arg! They have turned the natural process of giving birth into this terrifying experience. Now I'm angry. Time to go cuddle Isadora and calm down.

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I couldn't agree more. The sister of an ex-boyfriend was in a hospital in labor for 28 hours. Thing was, they had a microphone in the room and were broadcasting her labor into the waiting room, without her knowing abotu it. To me, hospitals are such violating places, no dignity, no caring in so many cases.
Childbirth doesn't scare me nearly as much as the hospital does. I'm glad to know there is a resurgence in midwifery.

you have nothing to feel quilty about and she will not remember anything as being bad.

The birth experience is the most significant thing that happens to a person, next to death. Saying that a newborn will not remember goes along the same barbaric thought that babies can not feel pain. It has been proven time and time again that our subconscious pulls out memories that can cause us to act out in unexpected ways.
There are books you can read to understand more about this topic. In addition a few of the effects of a traumatic birth in an infant are low apgar scores at birth, irregular breathing unwillingness or inability to breast feed, delayed bonding between infant and parents, excess routine medical treatment that causes pain and time away from mom. To name a few.

I was trying to be comforting....thanks for your comments

I didn't mean to sound insensitive. it's just as a person who works at educating women about pregnancy and birth it is important to acknowledge the birthing experiences for what they are. there are deep rooted emotions in many women about their births and those things need to be worked through with acceptance and education. My apologies, for sounding unsympathetic, or disvauling your comment.

thank you...sometimes it can be a kindness to be comforted and not have all of the knowledge one might possibly have.

It was knowledge I already had thus the guilt. Thank you for being sweet though. :)

no problem....just trying to help you feel not guilty...besides, what happened was most definitely not your fault. you still should not feel guilty about something over which you had no control. And, before you go an rationalize that you did, you did not have control at that moment. so there :P lol

Ah, but see that is the attitude that leads to women having crappy birth experiences. :) A woman SHOULD have control over things in labor. I ought to have known what my plan was should what happened had happened and I didn't. I believe strongly that the birth of your child is one of the most important things you will ever to and to remain uneducated about it and uninvolved in your birth is a bad thing. Too many women just 'do what they are told'. I feel guilty because I knew better and had not prepared for something I knew was a possibility. I won't make that mistake again.

don't over analyze...it is not humanly possible to plan for everything outside our realm of experience. If we could, we would be superhuman. You made an honest, good faith effort to control what you could. What was done for your child was done to prevent infection. I know it was not what you want. But, how would you have felt if they had done something less aggressive and she had developed a sever lung infection. The measures to treat that are no less severe, in their own way. Or, had developed an eye infection that caused partial blindness. You need to look at the whole perspective and realize this was an event that you could not entirely control.

why did you not have your babies at home? was it not an option at the time? if you had another child what would you do differently?

you sound as mad and passionite about birth as i do, :) how nice.

My home is not a place I would have felt really comfortable giving birth. Also we could not afford a midwife and I am just not the unassited birthing type. :) I don't have enough confidence in myself for that. hehe. I want someone there who knows more than I do.
With my next child I plan on either being at home or in a birthing center and having a water birth. During both of my labors I spent hours in the small cramped leaky tub they had in the room. I know I would love a big warm birthing tub. I also plan on learning more and being prepared for the various things that could go wrong (I was prepared for many things but the meconium issue somehow escaped me). I'll also probably find some method to help me learn to relax more. I took Bradley with number one but it didn't work well for me. I am incrediably tense.
Yup, I love talking birth. :)

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