(no subject)

[danuv]

I was just reading some childbirthing stuff and started thinking back to my two births. Rhiannon was much closer to how I wanted things to be. No drugs, no meddling, very very few check ups from the nurses. They just left me alone in the tub to labor. With Isadora however, I got there too soon, there were fewer people giving birth so they had more time to annoy me, my last hour or so was not going as well and then I made the mistake of putting on Kate Bush and Running Up the Hill so I was crying hysterically. Then when my water broke there was meconium staining and they immediately took Isadora away, I didn't even touch her, rammed tubes down her nose into her lungs and sucked them out. Horrible. It seemed like forever before I got to hold her and what a horribly violent way to come into the earth. I feel so guilty over it. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'll give birth alone in the woods with a dull knife before I go back into a hospital. Hospitals are for sick people and women in labor are not sick! I hate the fear that women have been taught. Arg! They have turned the natural process of giving birth into this terrifying experience. Now I'm angry. Time to go cuddle Isadora and calm down.

Comments

Re:

[bsgi.livejournal.com]

no problem....just trying to help you feel not guilty...besides, what happened was most definitely not your fault. you still should not feel guilty about something over which you had no control. And, before you go an rationalize that you did, you did not have control at that moment. so there :P lol

[danuv.livejournal.com]

Ah, but see that is the attitude that leads to women having crappy birth experiences. :) A woman SHOULD have control over things in labor. I ought to have known what my plan was should what happened had happened and I didn't. I believe strongly that the birth of your child is one of the most important things you will ever to and to remain uneducated about it and uninvolved in your birth is a bad thing. Too many women just 'do what they are told'. I feel guilty because I knew better and had not prepared for something I knew was a possibility. I won't make that mistake again.

Re:

[bsgi.livejournal.com]

don't over analyze...it is not humanly possible to plan for everything outside our realm of experience. If we could, we would be superhuman. You made an honest, good faith effort to control what you could. What was done for your child was done to prevent infection. I know it was not what you want. But, how would you have felt if they had done something less aggressive and she had developed a sever lung infection. The measures to treat that are no less severe, in their own way. Or, had developed an eye infection that caused partial blindness. You need to look at the whole perspective and realize this was an event that you could not entirely control.