(no subject)

[danuv]

There is a graveyard of broken Hallmark ornaments lying all over the room. It's getting rather disturbing. Everywhere I look there are broken Mickey Mouse legs, torn off fairy wings, ears, feet, and assorted other body parts and such. It's terrible. I thought I'd be safe putting the plastic ornaments on the bottom of the tree. Yesterday I tried to get them to make paper ornaments. We managed to get three done. They are all but destroyed. I live with tornados. And Rhiannon has a vile evil streak. She had some snowmen to color. She went immediately to the black marker and blotted their snowy faces out. Should I be scared?
I'm starting to feel domestic again. Yesterday I made giant chewy chocolate chip cookies. Today for lunch I am fixing spicy stir fried tofu with coconut rice. I think perhaps I'll make gingersnaps tonight. Last night I was watching Martha Stewart's show on FoodTV and she was making these thin little spice cookies and prattling on about how you could stamp 300 and something from one batch and showing how the fit nicely into little metal tins which had been lined with neatly cut out corrugated cardboard and tied up with pretty little ribbons. The woman is fucking insane. Who on earth has time to make hundreds of tiny thin cookies, bundle them into tins, and tie them up with pretty little ribbons? It's crazy I tell you! I read somewhere that she is dating Anthony Hopkins. While this may or may not be true, I think it makes a hell of a lot of sense. Who better to date Martha Stewart than Hannibal Lecter?

Comments

[lorigami.livejournal.com]

I thought she was married...

[danuv.livejournal.com]

Yeah that's what I thought too, but someone said she was divorced. I dunno... even if it's not true it should be. hehe

[danuv.livejournal.com]

I looked it up... divorced from her husband of 29 years in '90. And then I found this:

The Top 16 Things Overheard on an
Anthony Hopkins/Martha Stewart Date




"Oh, you meant you'd give me *a* head tonight? That's very different then, isn't it?"

"A census taker tried to survey me once. I made a lovely autumn floral swag out of his liver."

"Is that a femur in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

"Oh God, Tony, that's a *very* good thing!"

"Finger sandwiches, chopped liver, and a real bloody Mary. Now *that's* a good thing."

"Now this dessert I call 'Medulla Oblon-Gelato'."

"...and this muzzle of yours can double as a strainer for pasta or for intestines."

"Gnawing on the phalanges is permissible, but should always be accompanied by fingerbowls."

"Martha, so help me, if you use the word 'potpourri' as a verb one more time, I'll kill both of us with this butter knife!"

"Go for my sweetbreads if you dare, Liverlips -- I've got a glue gun and I'm not afraid to use it."

"No, dear, you eat spleen with *this* fork."

"Do that damned 'fth-fth-fth-fth-fth' thing one more time, and I'll gag you with this lovely handcrafted doily!"

"Put a doily under that liver, pig."

"Has the rack of lamb stopped screaming, Martha?"

"The lady will have the linguini with clam sauce, and I'll just eat off her face."

and the Number 1 Thing Overheard on an Anthony Hopkins/Martha Stewart Date...


"Eat me!!"

Completely tasteless. heh

[lorigami.livejournal.com]

Oy!